Monday, 6 April 2009

Wibble wobble wibble wobble jelly on a plate

For the past few weeks the luke warm sunshine that has been filtering through my curtains and blindingly waking me up at an anti social hour of 6.30am has actually prodded me into doing some exercise.

Learning how to stay alive during the months of enduring cold (I'm not being melodramatic, I'm from Somerset and it was bloody freezing with our record breaking winter!) involved a lot of baking of classic British puds. The apple crumble was successful unlike the stint at making toffee, which just ended up as a tray of stubbornly un-solid gloop which Dave (housemate) likened to what his bum produces after a heavy night out. appetising.
However the carbs and the sugar have happily settled around my tum to merrily jiggle when I walk, run or laugh almost in a jolly Santa belly shaking fashion (hopefully exaggerated in my mind but is a good-bad-warped incentive to do something about it)

First I tried running, jogging or yogging with a soft 'y' (sorry for the Anchorman quip!) but other then being thoroughly knackering, I just sort of felt stupid in my non Nike trainers and lack of i-pod to distract me from my red to the point of self combusting purple blob that had replaced my head.

So then I tried my sister's work out dvd, some sort of class of perma tanned, day glow grinning, lycra encased bevy of beauties Eric Prydz would have hired on the spot. Yet conversely because there wasn't an audience I couldn't be bothered to finish what I'd started. The mystery of my exercise problem was getting cryptically Goffmanesque in its roots.

And then I found this 1950s perfect bikini in Primark (I know I've gone over to the dark side...but then if Nike can reform after all they exploited out in the sweat shops of the 90's then surely Primark has a conscience...maybe) The version I bought has heart detailed buttons and combined with the ditsy print it is just right for the public swimming pool and the support of the top stops it letting your, er, inflatables float free! Not only is this lovely piece of lycra a bit of old Hollywood glamour on a budget, but it shall be my incentive to swim, tone up and be more hair free in all the right places!

It's not really suprising that I'm hooked on when my shopping psyche is this commercially brainwashed...sigh!