Thursday, 16 October 2008

Lesbians are so hot right now

Katy Perry’s singing about it, Lindsey Lohan’s snogging one, and Agnes Deyn, lets face it just looks like one.

Yet she’s not the only one. I realised the other day, as I picked up my new Chris Evans/high powered lesbian style specs, and dressed in my ‘boyfriend trousers’, unisex converses and new specs, I was very much doing the lesbian look. Perhaps this was why the old bloke opposite me on the tube was giving me a good eyeballing. Probably didn’t help that my reading of choice was ‘diva’, a well known lesbian magazine. What? I read it for it’s amusing articles!

Perhaps I’m missing the boat and every other woman is merrily beating around the lesbian bush. So I put the question; would you? to my polish housemate, who is as traditional as Mr Kipling is about his exceedingly good cakes. Her answer was an adamant ’a thousand time no!’, which was accompanied by a suspicious darting look in my direction. Her reasoning followed that ’surely you would miss something?’

But other than that something extra men have which comes in a long package (if your lucky), what would we miss? Certainly not the way my boyfriend picks his bogeys then proudly reveals it to me on his finger like we are in ‘show and tell’ in class one again, or the way he never realises his bum crack is on show. Don’t get me wrong I like his bum, but not when I’m eating my dinner or he meets my housemates, or more importantly my mum, you’d think it’d get draughty down there.
With a lezzy chum you could combine wardrobes, watch endless Sex in the City without any complaints and come bedtime at least she would know where ‘it’ is, ‘cos she’d have one herself!
The lesbians have changed peoples stereotypes from the dungaree wearing, cat loving and body hair growing clan they used to be thought of. With their chart topping tunes, intelligent magazines, glamorous celebs and serious fashion style they could make a straight girl as queer as nine bob note as my Oma would say.

However, if after a fair amount of philosophising and self probing (oo-er!) you come to the conclusion that being a lesbian just isn’t your cup of tea, remember not to spill your initial thoughts to your conservative housemate, or you will find you’re treated more suspiciously then Amy Winehouse claiming she’s clean.